Let’s Stop Calling Each Other “White-Washed”

This summer, I’ve spent far too much time on TikTok. I feel like I’ve seen it all: from D.I.Y. dorm headboards to shoe reviews–TikTok truly has everything. Unfortunately, TikTok does have everything– even black women putting each other down. 

It would go like this: a black girl with straight hair hanging out with white people (usually dancing or having fun). I would check the comments which usually consisted of phrases like: “free her”, “love yourself”, and a new favorite: “canon event”. At first, the comments did not bother me. They were coming from other black people and I had seen much worse in comment sections before.

After seeing the same event unfold time and time again, I started to seriously wonder: do these girls hate themselves and need to be “freed”? To make things clear, the point of this article is not to tell you that you can’t “act black”. While telling someone they act like a certain race is problematic, there are societal stereotypes of each race that cannot be ignored but also cannot be used to place people into a box. 

I have been on both sides of this issue. I have been both positively and negatively affected by less diverse and more diverse spaces. Because of this, I tasked myself with looking at both sides and figuring out what these comments mean and what we can do about it.

After looking at the accounts of the girls who receive many of these comments, they usually have this in common:

1. 1. They live in a town/city/state with a low percentage of black people
   2. They are wearing basics or brands such as Lululemon, Aviator Nation, or Love Shack Fancy
   3. They make videos with white people in them

Looking at this list, it’s easy to write these girls off as “white-washed” but I urge you to think deeper. 

Living in an area with a low percentage of black people does not make someone “white-washed” because you cannot tell if someone truly fits the term by looking at their account. Being “white-washed” is when you reject your own culture to be accepted by white people. As a teenager, you cannot choose where you live. Does living in an area with low diversity mean you’ve rejected your own culture? Absolutely not. It may make becoming “white-washed” easier or enticing but they are not dependent on each other. 

Secondly, wearing basics is certainly not a red flag that someone is “white-washed”. Black people wear many styles and you cannot only use clothing to gauge how much they appreciate their culture. The last commonality on the list is a very common misconception. Having white friends does not make you any less black. While I believe every black girl should have the opportunity to have black friends that she can discuss shared experiences with, not having them does not make her “white”. 

Instead of shaming her for her lack of black friends, why can’t you help her? If she is so “white-washed” and needs to be influenced by black culture, then be her friend. Shaming her will only give her a reason to reject our rich and vibrant culture. Causing divides in our own race is hurting us. Blackness is not something to be proven.